Monday, February 17, 2014

A Conversation With My Gender

There was a Clitoris Memo sent out awhile back. Read it.
Cunnilingus- this is a must. If she tastes bad, wash it down with a good drink, or date a woman with a better diet.
Passively watching sports is not manly. Working out to look like the guy in Men's Health is the male equivalent of chicks wanting to look like broads in Sports Illustrated. Get a good workout or participate in some sort of martial arts, especially if you follow individual combat sports. But if you are sitting on your ass watching football which is only grown men in tights playing with balls- we are waiting for you and Tom Cruise to come out of the closet.
Strippers are overrated. If you don't believe me, wait until you get crabs in your eye from an all nude club or take one of these ladies home and get a nice surprise when your hand soap smells like badly aged vag vinegar.
If you missed out on the genetic lottery and don't have enough equipment- well we can't all win.
If you are running around talking about the game, you aren't a player. The ones with the most game are those who claim they are not in the game at all. Then again, you might want to think about romance, which is the core of every person's existence whether they are male or female or something in-between(whether they admit it or not), as a subject you ought not to refer to as a game. After all we all matured past that high school bullshit. Right?


Addendum:
Apparently there are a bunch of people angry about some Coke Commercial saying it is un-'Murican. Right, because companies totally care about countries, and are otherwise patriotic and have never done things like finance the Nazis, built up the Soviet Union, or economically devastated domestic industry. And I'm sure the reason your fatass should stop drinking cokes is that the commercial pissed you off. You can always trust beverages that got their name during the patent medicine era from having cocaine in them. Truth is, carbonated drinks are totally unnecessary for humans to consume.

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